15 May 2013

Dirty secrets & lies that bind spouses


Marriage is arguably the most intimate of all relationships human beings have in their lifetime. And as many will tell you, these unions are about honesty and openness. However, it is practically impossible for one to sustain such a life long union by being completely transparent with each other, writes TONY MALESI.
Marriages can actually be saved by lies. The truth of the matter is that many people can hardly handle ugly truths. Actually, naked truth can jeopardise and ruin your marriage. For instance, when a spouse falls out of love, and in fact, secretly falls in insane love with another person, is it the best thing to confess? I am sorry to say this, but you are better off keeping it to yourself.
Willis Mukabane, 57, believes that, at times, lies are the glue that binds relationships and marriages and that if spouses were to tell the truth all the time, then the infamous Kosovo War would be child’s play. God forbid.
“When your partner becomes fat and physically unattractive after some time, and you feel they are not the person you actually married, never tell them the truth, lie. Otherwise you risk putting asunder what God bond together,” says Mukabane.
He adds that most marriages are built on lies and secrets, which if revealed, would detonate concoctions that would give the FBI, CIA, and maybe, the NSIS sleepless nights at least for several decades.
Kawira Jane, 31, subscribes to the view that sometimes lies glue marriages together a great deal. She claims it is so, especially on bedroom matters. She proceeds to spill the beans by asserting that on the issue of sexual satisfaction or lack thereof, it is always good to keep mum and if one must speak about it, the golden rule is, lie!
“Nobody, especially men, want to be told they are doing bad at the junction, it’s not good for any partner’s morale.”
She adds that women not only lie but hide a lot from their husbands. Would you tell your husband that behind that flawless skin is a wrinkled face that, thanks to plastic surgery magic, is the way it is? And no, I would my husband doesn’t know my actual age, we don’t tell how old we are. “Revealing such secrets and saying the truth can be scandalous and even blow up the marriage. One is better off keeping their mouths shut.”
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